Sweet Awesome Tours

Climb aboard!!! I hope you're ready, because we're going to Portland, where the streets are made of magic and love!!!

You wish, Chris!!!

Sweet Awesome!!! A time machine!!! Let's go back to the time before there was American Idol!!!

We found some primitive hieroglyphics!!! Chris, according to my Ancient Portlandese Translation Handbook, this says, "I hate Christmas!!!"

I'm so confused, Chris!!! What happens when it's parked?!?!

We decided to get huge and go terrorize the commuters on Fremont Bridge!!! HAHA!!! How do you like me now, you non-yielding little pricks?!?!

Left to Right: ???, Chris, ???

Don't touch that, Chris!!! Can't you see it has "Siemens" on it?!?!

Do not climb on or around Chris!!!

WTF IS 314 IWGL IS N ?!?!

Chris, I think we better get out of here before whoever lives here gets home!!!

Eventually, we stumbled upon this little coffee shop that had great drinks!!! I wish we had these EVERYWHERE!!!

Is it a noun or a verb?!?!

First the war on drugs, then the war on terrorism, and now THIS?!?!

On top of the world!!!

PHAT!!!

This slab of marble told us to practice resurrection!!! Well what the hell does it know?!?! It's just a freakin' slab of rock!!!

DRUG FREE ZONE!!!

HATE FREE ZONE!!!

VIOLENCE FREE ZONE!!!

SIN FREE ZONE!!!

NO PEE ZONE!!!

Whoa, Chris, an ad for a public pool!!! Let's check it out!!!

Lesson learned the hard way: Before you take a drink out of a huge water cooler, READ THE LABEL!!!

BONUS SHOT!!!

See you next time!!!