Sweet Awesome Tours

Surprise!!! It's Chris and he's going to rock this tour so effing hard!!!

Why do you think they call the Hawthorne District "Portland's Living Room"?!?! HAHA!!! They don't!!!

Chris, this is a tour of Portland, not "Jackass the Movie"!!!

PUDLOCK is such a funny word!!!

Chris is coming to rescue you from boring tours!!!

Here's Chris herding a pack of wild shopping carts!!!

SSSHHH!!! They're humping!!!

Saving your loved ones a buck or two when you call collect is SWEET AWESOME!!!

It's the Venus De Chris!!! Trivia: Venus means love, and it also rhymes with penis!!! Where is your other hand, Chris?!?!

On top of the world!!!

Here's Chris posing with Ben!!! Ben's got two right hands, and one of them is his face!!!

I wonder what's in this box!!!

EXTREME CLOSE UP!!! AAAHHH!!!

GOLLY!!!

God may be more charismatic than Chris, but that's not an easy feat!!! How come next to "Bible Study" it has a picture of a condom?!?!

WAHOO!!! FREE JEANS!!!

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